Is this your dream? You are lying on the table, washed clean after a monsoon, but more slippery than a ripe mango, while one person slides over you like warm butter on a hot spatula. That is why this low-key Best Nuru Bangkok represents a confirmation transluscent crystal ball. No more massages that leave you battered. Here’s comfort with a twist of the real thing.“So what’s all the fuss?” Like many things, it began in Japan. A thick, color & fragranceless seaweed gel is slathered on your body, as slick as any McMafia bailiff. Therapists use their elbows, foreambs, and sometimes even their knees (don’t panic) to massage every last knot out of you.
It’s like being mauled by a very friendly octopus. Strange? Certainly. But ten minutes later, you’ll forget your own name.Endless are the Choices in Bangkok. From cucumber towels at a posh Sukhumvit haven to cramped corners where the gel’s mixed fresh each day. My newly created category. Prices go from “street food cheap” to “five-star splurge.”
Caution: Do they use hypoallergenic gel? Unless you actually enjoy leaving looking like a lobster who’s found enlightenment.“Let’s address the naked beast.” Disposable undies are provided—sort of dental bibs crossed with sexier Bacterial security up here at Hampstead Heath. Therapists treat your modesty like Chantilly lace.
One client quipped, “I knew less myself before last Monday’s board meeting on Zoom.” They are professionals.Breathe is your task. It’s their job to make you forget all about that pile of credit card bills.“Why go with this when I can have a Thai massage?” Thai massages are a kind of wrestling match with your chiropractor Hakumi Nuru? It’s a gentle drizzle of waarm honey on toast, for people who wish to relax without having had the living daylights knocked out of them.”Pro-Tips: Do not have the tom yum soup before this. Trust me, lying belly-down with a volcano of spices bubbling is everything but Zen.
After the session, scrub off like you’re scratching an itch –that gel clings like a Stage 5 clinger- and drink water. After all, you’ll lose enough persperation to fill a Kidora.If you’ve ever imagined in your wildest dreams, “I wish my massage had a dash of the ridiculous,” then it’s a complete must-do. Story, laugh, nap-a one-in-all. And where else can you say “I paid to be mud-wrestled!”?Indeed, can you. – Is it all worth while? My initial thought was… Your job. Now you have a turn on.
Unbelievable? so was I at first. But now I am choosing my next reckoning to ooze-y nirvana.